


Fear No Evil

by XiuChen4Ever



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: At Least The Priest Isn't A Pedophile, Author Is Not Catholic, Author Would Apologize For Inaccuracies, Blasphemy, Catholicism, Corruption, Demons, Except They're Probably The Least Offensive Part, M/M, Priests, Religion, Theology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-24 06:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XiuChen4Ever/pseuds/XiuChen4Ever
Summary: Father Do was just trying to be a good shepherd, but he ends up with a stray goat rather than a wayward sheep.





	Fear No Evil

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write ChanSoo but I thought it would be fun to try something new! I hope it's enjoyable.

Mornings are Father Do’s favorite times. He loves the ritual of going through the cathedral, lighting the candles, readying the censer, saying his morning prayers in the peaceful stillness broken only by Father Kim’s own rhythmic chants. But Father Kim is performing a visitation of the sick at a local hospital this morning, so the only voice chanting lauds today is his own. Still, he’s filled with a deep sense of satisfaction as he offers up a prayer of thanks for all the blessings he’s been given.

Mind focused and cleansed of any turmoil, Father Do then opens the main cathedral doors to welcome in the fresh morning air, the song of the birds—and the sound of a groan? A trickle of… is that blood?

Curled beneath the carved gargoyles of the arched stone entryway is a boy—no, a man. Young, though. And clearly injured. And clearly taller than Father Do himself, though much more wiry than the well-fed priest.

He crouches to assess the man’s injuries, searching for the source of the dark trickle marring the white stone of the narthex. It’s coming from his nose and ears, as if he’d had a head injury of some kind. But when he runs exploring fingers over the man’s scalp, no obvious bump or cut reveals itself.

The man makes a soft sound as Father Do examines him but doesn’t open his eyes. He does roll his head around and curl up onto his side, evidently indicating that his spine isn’t broken. Offering up a prayer of thanks and of further mercies, Father Do lifts the man by his shoulders and hauls him into the church.

The man doesn’t react at first but screams right as he’s dragged across the threshold, a long, agonized howl tapering into a shriek. He thrashes but Father Do manages to wrestle the lanky figure onto a padded pew, murmuring softly to the agitated figure until he quiets.

“I will call you a doctor,” Father Do says, resting a bracing hand on the man’s shoulder. “Please rest.”

“Don’t… bother,” the man pants, turning his face toward Father Do and opening his eyes to meet the priest’s concerned gaze.

The man’s large eyes have amber irises rather than the dark brown typical of the area, and his pupils are eerie rectangular slits. It’s only his half-decade of priestly experience that keeps Father Do from reacting.

“You appear to have a head injury,” he says. “Please let me call a doctor for you.”

But the man is curling into a sitting position, using the back of one hand to wipe the blood away from his nose. Spread over ruddy skin, the half-clotted fluid smears dark, not the deep red of deoxygenated blood but closer to black with a tinge of green. He smiles up at Father Do, revealing a wide mouth full of way too pointy teeth.

“Demon!” Father Do accuses, drawing the sign of the cross between himself and the fiend. “I cast thee out!”

The demon only chuckles, overlong tongue licking the blood from beneath his nose. “You cannot cast me out. You brought me into sanctuary uncompelled. I am safe now,” the demon gloats. “I’m safe as long as I remain within these walls, so within these walls I shall stay.”

Father Kim is only three years older than Father Do but at times like these, the younger priest really wishes for the elder’s wisdom. Or at least for his company. Anyone’s company, really—Father Do has never been so terrified in his life. 

He just stands there clutching his rosary while this demon laughs at his stupor. And then Father Do, a usually peaceful man, gets mad.

“How dare you come into God’s house and plague me?” Father Do growls. “I renounce any sanctuary you think you have. Begone!”

“Ah, but my pretty little priest, that’s not how this works. I have abjured. You must care for me, protect me from those of my kind who would harm me. And also feed me, because I’m hungry.”

“I will do no such thing!” Father Do crosses himself and attempts to shove the demon from the pew and back down the aisle and out the door, but the creature only laughs, immobile despite the priest’s puffing efforts.

“You’re so cute. No one told me humans were so endearing, especially not  _ religious _ ones.”

“Endearing?” Father Do pants. “What exactly about throwing you out is endearing?”

“The fact that you try even though you have been made aware that you cannot. Do humans always try so hard, even when there’s no hope of success?”

“The brave ones do,” Father Do answers. “Because there’s  _ always _ hope.”

The demon only hums at this, then stands up, causing Father Do’s eviction efforts to pitch the priest forward into the spot the demon vacates. The lanky creature walks around the church, seeming perfectly at home in the holy place.

“Nice setup you have here. Very inspirational. All these depictions of a bloody, dying man just really give it a nice homey feeling.” 

Father Do scowls at the demon’s grin. “You are not welcome here.”

“Too bad,” the demon declares. “I’m staying, so we may as well get to know each other. I’m Xagthuljyg'drixadnogmoxothychan’yeol, but my friends call me Chan’yeol, and we’re going to be really good friends, aren’t we?”

“No.” Father Do crosses his arms and glares at the demon.

Chan’yeol pouts. It looks surprisingly cute. “Will you at least tell me your name?”

“Parishioners call me Father Do.”

“I can work with a Daddy kink,” the demon purrs. “Daddy Do, feed your baby boy some breakfast. Baby’s so hungwy.” Chan’yeol makes aegyo fists by his big eyes and trembling lower lip.

Father Do quickly looks away. “You can’t have my soul. Or anyone else’s. And stop calling me Daddy, priests have enough inappropriate child-related reputations to counter as it is.”

Chan’yeol laughs. “People call you Father all day. It’s the same thing. It would be silly to just call you ‘Do’ but you haven’t shared your given name.”

“And I will continue not to share it, as it’s probably how you steal souls.”

The demon tsks.  _ “I _ don’t want your soul. What would I even do with it?”

“Seal it forever in the fiery pit of hell?”

“Boooring. And not my department, anyway. As far as I’m concerned, you can keep your stupid soul—just give me your  _ spice.” _

“Spice?”

“Yes, the spiciest food you have. Make me some homemade  _ pepper sauce.” _

Father Do feels himself blush but he refuses to rise to the demon’s bait. “Pepper sauce” is a perfectly innocent term despite the fact that ‘pepper’ is a slang word for the male organ. He means to tell the creature off again, but Father Do loves to cook. So instead of rebuking the demon, he says something unexpected, even to himself.

“I have some extra-spicy tteokbokki in the fridge.”

Chan’yeol blinks at him, then smiles. It’s a wide, toothy smile that should be alarming but somehow isn’t. In fact, the more he looks at the demon, the less intimidating he appears. Those jug-handle ears, for example. And the way his glossy black hair flops in his face. He even has the hint of a dimple. What kind of demon is this? Aren’t they supposed to have horns and pointy tails and leathery bat wings?

“I love tteokbokki!” the demon gushes, clapping his giant hands. He looks way more like an excited five-year-old than some denizen of the pits of hell.

Father Do blinks. “Well then, come this way.”

And that’s how Father Do finds himself seated at the kitchen table with a demon, eating tteokbokki for an early lunch.

“This is really good, Daddy,” Chan’yeol says as he shovels the spicy rice cakes into his wide maw. “Did you make this for me?”

“I made it. Not specifically for you. And  _ please _ stop calling me that.”

“Tell me your given name and I will,” the demon wheedles.

Father Do glowers. The demon grins back.

“It’s Kyungsoo,” Father Do reveals with a sigh. He’d already brought a demon onto hallowed ground. Surely he’s damned already whether or not it knows his name.

“Such a handsome name for a handsome man,” Chan’yeol purrs. “Far too handsome to be doomed to be forever alone.”

“I am not alone,” Kyungsoo refutes. “I have the Almighty. And my fellow priest.”

“Ahh, do they keep you warm at night, then?”

“My faith is all the comfort I need.”

“Really?” The demon eyes him knowingly. “You’re never tempted for a little  _ physical _ comfort?”

“I took a vow of celibacy,” Kyungsoo answers. “I do not intend to break it.”

“Hmm. You know, in the original Latin,  _ caelibatus _ merely denoted an unmarried state. It is not the same as vowing to be chaste.”

Kyungsoo scowls at the demon. “Unmarried Catholics are called to abstinence,” he says.

“Are they? That seems harsh.” Chan’yeol shoves his empty bowl aside, then climbs up onto the breakfast table.

“It is devotion,” Kyungsoo argues, leaning away from the demon crawling across the table towards him.

“Hmm. So you cannot seek pleasure with a woman?” Chan’yeol’s breath is warm on his face.

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“And you cannot seek pleasure with a man?” The demon bends closer, brushing Kyungsoo’s cheek with his nose.

Kyungsoo shakes his head again.

“And you cannot even seek your own pleasure?” Chan’yeol is so close his lips brush Kyungsoo’s skin as he speaks.

Kyungsoo shakes his head once more, squeezing his eyes shut against the invasion of his space.

“Huh. Good thing I’m not technically any of those things,” Chan’yeol says, his smile audible. 

Then warm lips are pressed against Kyungsoo’s own.

Kyungsoo yelps, pushing backwards hard enough to topple the chair he’s sitting in. But the demon wraps both arms around the priest, pulling him close and deepening the kiss. Chan’yeol tastes of spicy tteokbokki and sin, of pleasure and pain and it’s all Kyungsoo can do to seal his lips closed instead of responding, to push the demon away instead of twining fingers in that silky black hair.

“Begone from me,” the priest pants. “You are unclean.”

“I will not,” the demon refuses. “You humans have, as usual, complicated things. This ‘law’ against physical pleasure is not divine. The ten commandments are divine, and they include such basics as ‘thou shalt not kill.’ Does it say ‘thou shalt not getteth thine rocks off’ anywhere on those slabs of stone?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“Hmm. And even though that basic commandment ‘thou shalt not kill’ ends with a full stop, no conditions or exceptions, didn’t your church start a long and bloody campaign to convert their so-called ‘holy land’ from another religion, even though that religion reveres the same God and which has its origins in the same holy texts you hold as sacred?”

Kyungsoo winces at the thought of the crusades. “Humanity is fallible,” he admits. “Even those with righteous hearts may act ungraciously. Many crusaders were excommunicated.”

Chan’yeol laughs. “‘Ungracious.’ What a word for those that murdered thousands, even those of their own religion who happened to belong to a different sect. You holy men do have a way with words, I will give you that.”

The demon hops down from the table, grinning that wide toothy smile at Kyungsoo in a way that makes the priest remember just how those lips had tasted. 

“Well. When you stop hypocritically insisting that following laws made by man are required while some of God’s laws are optional depending on circumstance, I will be right beside you, waiting to alleviate what must be years of frustration.” Chan’yeol shudders. “Seems downright unhealthy.”

Shaken, Kyungsoo unfolds himself from the chair, backing away from the demon in case the creature changes his mind about priestly conquests. But Chan’yeol just tsks as the priest sidles away.

“Of all humans, I’d expect a man of the cloth to know—I cannot force you into anything. My kind can only  _ tempt. _ All these sins you blame us for—lust, wrath, envy, and so forth? We merely  _ suggest. _ It is you ‘fallible humans’ that must ultimately agree.”

The demon gives Kyungsoo a cheeky wink. “One could argue my kind are the originators of ‘continuous consent.’ We only do what humans allow.”

“Then why are you still here?” Kyungsoo argues. “I do not consent to allowing you to stay.”

“Because you are not the authority in this holy place,” the demon says with a wicked smile. “Sanctuary is submitting oneself to divine law above any other, and the ‘Almighty’ as you call him still recognizes me as his child, wayward though I may be.”

“You are no child of God,” Kyungsoo disputes.

“Oh, but I am. It is your holy book that states God created everything, is it not?. Demons are a part of  _ everything, _ and thus we have the right to appeal to divine law. We are fallen, but not forgotten.”

Kyungsoo scowls. “So what, you’re just going to convert or something?”

“Ew, no. I’m just going to stay within these walls forever, eating your delicious food—and enjoying your delicious body, once I manage to seduce you.” 

This last is accompanied by a particularly salacious once-over that leaves Kyungsoo feeling nude despite his thick ecclesiastical robes. The priest shudders, not at the idea of taking pleasure with the demon but at the realization that some sinful part of him would be more than happy to do so.

The demon is right about one thing, at least—his kind are definitely meant to tempt.

The rest of the morning is a true spiritual trial, with Chan’yeol doing his best to lure Kyungsoo into carnal pleasure as the priest tries to concentrate on his duties. It’s all but impossible with the demon doing playboy poses draped over the altar, spread along a pew, or dripping candle wax down his suddenly-bare, well-muscled chest.

“Stop that,” Kyungsoo snarls, confiscating the candle and returning it to the memorial display. “If you won’t leave, at least behave yourself.”

“Behaving is boring,” Chan’yeol dismisses. “I’d much rather  _ play. _ With you.” He licks his lips and leans into Kyungsoo’s space. “I know you want to play with me, too. I can see it in the way you can’t even look at me without blushing.”

“I will not succumb to your wiles,” Kyungsoo states.

The demon opens his mouth to say something else licentious but Father Kim’s entrance distracts them both.

As does the wiry little figure scampering bare-assed through the church to fling himself into the priest’s embrace.

“Minseokkie!” the nude man cries. “MinMin, I missed you so much!”

“I was only gone for four hours,” Father Kim huffs, removing his outer cloak and wrapping it around the man wrapped around him. “And what did I tell you about nudity outside of my chambers?”

“You said my body was sculpted by angels.”

“Yes, but I also said it’s inappropriate to bare it in public.”

“No one’s here except the baby priest and the new demon,” the man says dismissively. “And you were gone so long. I need to be naked. With you. We need to be naked together.”

“What in the name of the Pope?” Kyungsoo asks, gaping at his senior priest as Chan’yeol cackles beside him.

“Ah, Kyungsoo,” Father Kim greets, wincing a little. “Um. Meet Jong’dae. He’s… well. It’s hard to explain.” His gaze travels to the man laughing at Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Oh, marbles. Another one?”

“Another what? Demon who’s claimed sanctuary in the church, refuses to leave, has a tremendous appetite for spicy food and an unceasing desire for seduction?”

The corner of Father Kim’s lip twitches. “Basically, yeah.”

Jong’dae pulls away from Father Kim and scampers over to Chan’yeol, black cape trailing behind him like some sort of nudist vampire. The pair of demons begins to chatter animatedly in some infernal language, pausing to glance conspiratorially at the pair of priests before dissolving into laughter.

Even though it’s well past noon, Kyungsoo has a sudden urge to go back to bed and start this entire unbelievable day over again.

“How long has Jong’dae been here?” Kyungsoo demands to know. “And have you compromised your purity with an unholy fiend?”

Father Kim frowns. “Jong’dae claimed sanctuary about six months ago. And I haven’t compromised anything—I can still shepherd our congregation into loving their neighbors regardless of whether I sleep alone or not. I am not violating anyone unwilling, I remain unwed to any but the church and will father no children, and I am much better rested and lower-stress than I was before he showed up.” 

Kyungsoo blinks at his fellow priest. “So you’re okay with this? With being drawn into carnal sin?”

Father Kim shrugs. “He makes compelling arguments that coupling with him isn’t really a sin. And even if it is, it enables me to do more of the Lord’s work. Our duties are exhausting and it’s often soul-wearying to hear and absolve the sins of others. Jong’dae keeps me grounded. He’s very refreshing.”

The two demons are now both nude, playing some variety of tag that involves a lot of screeching as they race around and between the pews. Kyungsoo eyes them without bothering to hide his distress. 

“We can’t have naked demons running around the church,” he protests.

“Just threaten to baptize them when they misbehave,” Father Kim says. “They can’t abide the touch of holy water.”

To demonstrate, he lifts his voice to be heard over the infernal yelling. “Hey, services start in half an hour. Any uncovered demon parts are subject to holy water sprinkling, and demons that disrupt services are subject to a dunking.”

The demons dash into the priests’ quarters, leaving the pair of priests alone in front of the dais. Father Kim gives Kyungsoo a cautious little smile.

“I can ask them to reassign you to a different parish if you truly can’t tolerate our mischievous companions,” the elder priest offers.

Kyungsoo tugs his lower lip between his teeth. This only makes him remember how it felt when that same lip had been tugged between sharper teeth, and he closes his eyes above a sigh.

“I suppose it could be said that by keeping these demons contained within the church, we are protecting the rest of the world from their infernal influence,” Kyungsoo rationalizes.

“That is an excellent point,” Father Kim agrees. “It could be viewed as our moral duty to keep them occupied and restrained.”

“It could.”

There’s a moment of silence in which Father Do can once again appreciate the peaceful atmosphere of his place of work. Unfortunately, the lack of other things to contemplate allows his mind to return to the feeling of Chan’yeol pressed up against him in the kitchen.

“Managing one’s stress levels is important,” he says to the elder priest.

“Indeed. And we have twenty minutes before the parishioners arrive. Demons can be very efficient at destressing.”

Father Do strolls casually toward the door to the priests’ quarters. “Then I will see you again just before the service starts?”

“With an entirely refreshed spirit of service,” Father Kim promises from directly behind him.

The pair of priests smile at each other two hours later as the parishioners file out of the church, congratulating both Fathers on such an energetic, inspiring sermon. The offering box is overflowing, meaning the church can offer yet more support to the needy. And unlike many young priests who set aside their calling in order to marry and raise a family, Father Do is sure that he’ll never be tempted away from his duty, even if he is tempted into certain other activities.

“More,” he murmurs to the demon between his legs that evening. “Chan’yeol. Yes—suck me harder.”

His fingers tangle in that black silky hair as Chan’yeol complies, chuckling wickedly around the member in his mouth. The demon is surprisingly careful with all those sharp teeth, using lips and tongue to provide pleasure to the priest.

As the infernal creature sucks him into ecstasy, Father Do once again offers up a prayer of thanks for the blessings he’s been given. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sacrament of Sin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443288) by Anonymous 


End file.
